The Do's and Don'ts of Holiday Overwhelm

Holiday overwhelm can strike every year. But I invite you to explore the do’s and don’ts I’ve learned over the years we can apply this year, even as quarantine continues.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Holiday Overwhelm

I have faced holiday overwhelm as a child of divorce, moving between multiple homes each Thanksgiving and Christmas. Holiday overwhelm didn’t leave me alone as a hardworking, yet lonely college student. It struck me again as a new wife learning all the ropes, and later as a mom of three with so many things on my to-do list. You may be in any of these seasons of overwhelm, or even others as a single or empty nester.

In 2020, many of us are facing this normal type of overwhelm. The many choices, responsibilities and activities. The many people who put expectations on us. And this year, we’re also facing additional overwhelm due to virus surges, sickness, anxiety, canceled plans, strained finances or overwork, and grief.

Friend, God wants to have hope, joy and peace in the coming season. He doesn’t want you to be overwhelmed day after day after day. He wants you to make intentional choices that protect your time, energy and health (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual). I pray these suggestions on the do’s and don’ts of holiday overwhelm will bless you.

Don’t take on more than you can handle.

In my book, Christmas Peace for Busy Moms, I help moms order their busy days with practical steps. This came out of my mistakes on taking too much on in the past. Taking on more than you can handle creates a crabby, exhausted woman who isn’t full of the Christmas spirit – I know this from experience.

Though quarantine will change the 2020 holiday season, it may still tempt us to take too much on. We may be tempted to be all the things to all the people in an effort to soothe their unique hurts and losses this year. But this is a lie that’s easy to fall into if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me. Only God can do all the things for all the people. We need to surrender daily to him in prayer, trusting him to show us the way forward, and ask him to help us learn how to say No as well as Yes.

Though quarantine will change the 2020 holiday season, it may still tempt us to take too much on. #overwhelm #holidays Click To Tweet

Do schedule your time.

I encourage you to map out your schedule for the coming weeks. I love my paper planner, and my Google calendar is a good tool as well. I have learned to hold things loosely and not beat myself up if I need to move a task to the next day (or even to the next week).

There is only so much of you to go around, friend. Only so much happy, rested, peaceful, beautiful you to share. Be sure to schedule in time for daily Bible study, prayer, light exercise, quality sleep and activities you enjoy (more on this in a minute). The more you remind yourself that your schedule is important, the easier it will be to stick to it and reduce your overwhelm.

There is only so much of you to go around, friend. Only so much happy, rested, peaceful, beautiful you to share. #encouragement #christmas Click To Tweet

Don’t run yourself ragged.

This point is related to taking on more than you can handle. It’s when you start moving forward, though you can’t possibly handle it all well. When you do that, you may be able to cross everything off your to-do list, but you’ll be exhausted. For years I ran myself ragged during the holidays, handling too much on my own. Staying up after midnight to sew or wrap or bake. The projects got finished, but at great cost to myself.

I have a chronic condition that flares up when I don’t get enough rest. In fact, today I’m noticing the signs that I’ve pushed myself too hard the past few days. I can tell you from experience that you don’t want to get to this point, when you have to bow out of holiday activities because you are too exhausted to participate. You are a precious child of God, and you need to carefully guard your image-bearer status instead of running yourself ragged this holiday season.

You are a precious child of God, and you need to carefully guard your image-bearer status instead of running yourself ragged this holiday season. #selfcare #holiday2020 Click To Tweet

Do practice self-care.

I think self-care is important every year, all year long. But it may be even more critical this holiday season. We have all been suffering since mid-March, and many of us are weary and worn-out. Self-care is a daily MUST on your schedule if you want to fight overwhelm. Pick one small relaxing activity to anticipate every day, and don’t feel guilty about it. Think of self-care as your antidote against overwhelm. Even just 10 minutes of mindful silence, journaling your thoughts, writing out scripture, sipping hot tea or cocoa, indulging in a bubble bath, or giving yourself a facial can be enough to calm and soothe you, so you’re refreshed to keep moving forward.

Think of self-care as your antidote against overwhelm this Christmas. #selfcare #selfcaretips #Christmas2020 Click To Tweet

The Do’s and Don’ts of Holiday Overwhelm

Don’t isolate.

I’m an introvert through and through. I can stay at home for up to four days in a row without getting the itch to leave. But even someone likes me needs to get out and interact with others (in safe ways) to be happy and healthy this holiday season, especially to fight my winter blues.

Isolation is very tempting when you feel depressed or when you are afraid of contracting viruses. I understand it may be necessary and wise for some of us to temporarily isolate, especially if we are in high-risk categories. Yet prolonged isolation takes a huge toll on our mental and emotional health, and it’s not God’s design for us. We must fight against it with intentional steps (see next tip) to protect our well-being during the holiday season.

We may need to get more creative this holiday about reaching out, with parties and concerts being cancelled. I’ve heard about families planning to eat Thanksgiving dinner via Zoom. I’ve heard of some families continuing to get together because all members have already been exposed to the virus. We’ll have different options based on many different factors. But isolation isn’t a requirement for most of us, and it needs to be wisely managed.

We may need to get more creative this holiday about fighting isolation, with parties and concerts being cancelled. #holiday2020 #holidays Click To Tweet

Do reach out.

I’m facing a moment of overwhelm right now in my extended family (your prayers are appreciated). Since Saturday, I’ve spent over 10 hours on the phone and about two hours in-person with friends and family, processing all that has happened. Has this cost me and my loved ones precious time? Without a doubt. But it has paid off major dividends for my mental and emotional well-being, and it has blessed my friends in their ability to serve me in my time of need.

We women tend to be verbal processors, and by talking out our problems and feelings together, we can often arrive at solutions faster and better than we can on our own. I encourage you to reach out to friends on a regular basis this holiday season, through phone, Zoom or Facetime (and in-person, if that is safe). This personal connection helps you feel loved and secure in the midst of overwhelm.

On another note, reach out to others for help in your projects. I have two teens and one tween. They are all old enough to help not only with day-to-day tasks, but special tasks like carrying the Christmas tree in from storage and helping me organize my office. But my children typically don’t help me with holiday tasks unless I ask them first. I guarantee there are people who would LOVE to help you, serve you and bless you, but you need to reach out to them first. This step may require swallowing your pride and praying for courage, but it will most certainly help lessen your overwhelm in the long run.

I guarantee there are people who would LOVE to help you, serve you and bless you, but you need to reach out to them first. #christianliving #overwhelmed Click To Tweet

Don’t be too much like Martha.

I frequently think about the biblical account of Martha and Mary, two sisters who were oriented so differently. Martha was a high achiever, a go-getter, in charge of hosting a meal for Jesus and his companions. But perhaps she took too much on. She was so busy with her to-do list that she didn’t have time to sit with Jesus. Plus, she became critical and snappy under stress (like so many of us do).

I am an Enneagram 1, which I think was probably Martha’s type. So I relate to her challenge to manage her load with the right attitude while respectfully requesting help and withholding criticism. That’s a tough assignment for my natural wiring, and I have compassion for Martha’s account.

We can all learn valuable lessons from Martha’s example. She was responsible and capable. She had a generous servant heart. Yet she erred in being bossy, making unfair accusations, and losing her patience. Her attitude, linked to too many distractions, tarnished the good gifts she wanted to give. Let’s apply the good parts of Martha’s example and avoid the pitfalls she fell into due to overwhelm.

We can all learn valuable lessons from Martha's example this Christmas. #biblestory #maryandmartha #christmas Click To Tweet

Do seek to be like Mary.

God was gracious to wire me with a peacemaking, contemplative 9 wing, to balance out my hard-driving, perfectionist 1 side. I often call myself half Martha, half Mary. My Mary side longs for daily quiet time. That’s when I hear from Jesus through Bible study, prayer, books, videos, podcasts and sermons.

When we choose to sit at Jesus’ feet every day during the holiday season, we can trade our overwhelm for God’s peace. We don’t know how long Mary sat at Jesus’ feet in the Bible story. Perhaps it was 15 minutes, maybe 30, or even an hour. Are you willing to trade some time this season so you can sit at Jesus’ feet instead? I have a collection of Christmas devotionals that I love to read while sitting near the Christmas tree on December mornings. You still have time to find a Christmas devotional that will suit your needs. Here are several posts with suggestions for you:

Devotions for Christmas

3 Books to Give You Christmas Joy

6 Books Helping Me Stay Sane This Christmas

A Fresh Batch of Christmas Book Reviews

When we choose to sit at Jesus' feet every day during the holiday season, we can trade our overwhelm for God's peace. #peace #holidays Click To Tweet

Applying the Do’s and Don’ts of Holiday Overwhelm

I hope these tips help you fight against holiday overwhelm this year. Also, check out a related post I wrote last year titled How to Fight Holiday Overwhelm with Christian Meditation to find even more Bible-based help.

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