What Advice Would You Give Your Past Self?

What advice would you give your past self? That’s the topic we’re covering in this Tea on Tuesdays devotion. I also have a free printable for you!

Prefer to watch? Here’s the video:

What Advice Would You Give Your Past Self?

If you could go back in time and give your past self some advice, what would you say? That was the discussion question posed to me and a group of parents at my church this weekend. I thought it would make a great topic for us to think about today on Tea on Tuesdays.

In the discussion at church, the video started with a quote from D. H. Lawrence:

If only we could live two lives: the first in which to make one’s mistakes, and the second in which to profit by them.

Of course, we can’t do that. But we can look back and learn from lessons, and actually share that wisdom with others.

What’s Your Answer to the Question?

I wanted to share with you some of the pop-up answers that other parents in the group shared. Maybe one of these would be your answer too.

Don’t worry so much.

We had a lot of anxious people in the room who have learned to control their anxiety since they were young. They wish they hadn’t wasted so much time worrying.

Pray more.

Several people wished they would have developed their spiritual life more when they were younger.

Don’t care so much about what people think.

Several parents mentioned this as their answer – don’t seek approval from others. That’s what a lot of our teenage children are going through now, and I think that’s why this answer was on those parents’ minds.

Don’t rush.

Take time to savor and enjoy the moment.

Are any of these answers similar to yours? What would you tell your past self? What advice would you give?

My Answer to the Question

My answer was a little different. I didn’t share it with the group because it’s kind of sad. But I also know that if you’ve been following me for a long time, then you know I write about the hard stuff of life, because that’s when we need to find peace in God’s Word the most. This was my answer:

Get help sooner.

If you visit my About page, you’ll see the topics I’ve written on and the most popular posts of all time. You’ll see that it’s about really hard stuff, including emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts, codependency and more. These were pretty serious problems that needed professional help.

I didn’t see a counselor for the first time until I was in college. I spent a few months in counseling as a newlywed college student. Then I returned to Christian counseling when I was in my 30’s. That’s when I spent 5 years going to see my therapist.

Counseling made a huge difference in my overall health: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social. I only wish I had done it sooner.

Part of that journey was learning to set boundaries. Although I have written a lot about setting boundaries, and I’ve talked about the costs of setting boundaries, the only thing I regret is not having set those boundaries sooner.

Getting Help for Yourself

I’m thinking there are quite a few of you who may have a similar answer to mine: get help sooner. I want to tell you, it’s never too late to start.

Here’s a link to sign up for a free counseling call to Focus on the Family, who will then recommend a Christian counselor in your area. I did this years ago, and I only wish I had done it sooner.

You may also benefit from Stephen Ministries. I am a Stephen Minister at my church. We are laypeople who serve as part of the pastoral care team. We receive over 50 hours of training to walk beside people going through the tough stuff of life. Grief, loss, difficult times of transition, anything like that. There may be a Stephen Ministry branch near you – check HERE.

Changing the Future

One of the other quotes in the video we watched at church was this:

You can’t change the past, but you can choose a different future.

I really think that’s why you’re here today. You’re looking for hope, and you want to overcome. That’s wonderful! I applaud you for that, because God will honor that. He will help you in that.

One of the best verses for this is one of my favorite verses for overcoming and choosing hope and new life:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Cor. 5:17 NIV

Now it’s springtime here in Missouri. The flowers and trees are just gorgeous this year. They are so gorgeous that I actually have to wear my fabric Covid mask outside because the pollen count is so high! But I just love going outdoors with my mask on and looking at all the trees and flowers in bloom, enjoying them on the drive to and from school pickup.

I think there’s no better picture of this verse than springtime, seeing this new life absolutely bursting out in nature. It’s undeniable how different the landscape looks from the dry, cold, dead winter. It’s like the whole earth is transformed. I actually think spring might be a way God proves to us that he is faithful to give us new life and to transform us. He shows us through the seasons that new life and new hope is possible.

Making Changes Today

Even though you can’t go back and literally tell yourself that advice to keep yourself from going on the wrong track, you can make changes today. You can start today by reaching out for help. Maybe you don’t need a counselor or a Stephen Minister. Maybe you just need to reach out to a friend for a phone call today.

Also, I want you to think about the answer you had: Who needs to hear that answer from you? Is it your child? Maybe even your adult child. A coworker, someone at church, someone in your neighborhood. Maybe it’s some stranger to whom you need to speak encouragement.

Encouraging Others with Your Answer

I’ve told this story about being in Target. (Read the full story HERE.) All three of my children were having a meltdown at the same time. We were in the checkout lane, and I felt like the whole world was staring at me. It was my worst nightmare as an introvert.

When I finished checking out, I was holding it all in. I wasn’t bursting out in anger or tears. This lady approached me. I steeled myself because I expected condemnation. But she put her hand on my arm and said, “You’ve got this, Mom. You’re doing a great job.”

I’m getting emotional now just thinking about how much she blessed me. I think she was looking back. She was thinking, “I was there, and I wish someone had encouraged me.” So maybe you need to encourage somebody today like she encouraged me. It was just a small gesture. and it was years ago, but it still blesses me today to remember that.

You don’t know how God is going to use your encouragement to bless somebody else, if you’re willing to share it.

Free Printable for You

I’d like you to reflect on this question. I’d also like you to get this free printable of 2 Cor. 5:17. It can remind you in this springtime that God is not only making the whole world new, but he’s also making a new creation in you. He’s giving you hope, encouragement and joy now to overcome anything that’s happened to you in the past. He wants to set you free. Click on the graphic to get your free printable!

Prayer Requests

Do you have a prayer request for me? I’d be honored to pray for you, and I hold your prayer requests in complete confidence. Send me your request HERE.

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What Advice Would You Give Your Past Self?

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