Why Do We Crave to Be Pursued?

Do you secretly crave to be pursued? I learned a powerful lesson about my hidden cravings from a hit movie.

Like so many of you, I was captivated by the performance of “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper on the 2019 Academy Awards show.

I was both caught up in the music, lyrics and portrayal of love and passion.

When I watched “A Star is Born” on my birthday last fall, I was wowed by the power of the story. For days afterward I was caught up in a fog, just like I am after taking in other stunning works of art in paintings, music, movies and books. The movie actually brought me to tears, days after watching it. The story slayed me.

The Magnetism of Pursuit

I think the magnetism of this story is in our deep desire to be loved AND pursued. Everyone on social media was commenting on how Bradley held Lady’s hand, escorted her, then moved from his microphone to sit beside her and lovingly sing with her. His portrayal of pursuit was magnetic.

We crave to be pursued. You do. I do. It’s in our DNA. We all desperately want to be loved, and we’ll settle for lots of substitutes just to get a tiny taste of it, even if it only lasts for a moment.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to do that. And failed. Then tried to squash that desire. Then felt devastated, and condemned myself.

We are Pursued

In my mid 30’s, I started to realize that only one relationship will ever satisfy my desperate craving to be loved and pursued. Even though I had always believed in God, I didn’t go “all in” until then. And I realized God had been pursuing me every single day, even when I had been pushing him away with both hands.

When I finally realized that no human relationship will fill me up the way I need to be filled by God, that no one can pursue me with the same passion, the strangest thing happened. I was able to release my expectations and start loving people more freely. I wasn’t asking them to fill me up anymore. Neither was I asking my beautiful home, chocolate, naps, or books to numb me from my craving to be loved.

It’s perfectly fine to want to be pursued. To crave passion. But I’m looking in the right place now, and it’s making all the other things more beautiful.

Your Story

Do you believe this is possible in your life? Has God satisfied your deepest desires, as he promises in Psalm 37:4? Meditate on this verse. Mull over it and let it sink into your spirit:

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Every desire you have can be met in him, if you delight in him first. When you read God’s Word looking for ways that he loves you, you’ll find evidence on every page. I especially enjoy finding God’s love notes in the Psalms, like this one.

Your desires to be pursued and deeply loved can be fully met only by God. As one recovering from a lifelong addiction to relationships, I can tell you this is true. We can be beautifully far from the shallows with God.

Take delight in God by singing praise songs to him. Thank him for the small things in life, like the sunshine, spring flowers, bird songs, and your lunch. Spend time just with him, pouring your heart out. Let his Word give you the peace you’re seeking by reading a portion of it every day.

When you let Jesus pursue you with his divine passion, your deepest desires will be satisfied. It will transform your life as it has transformed mine.

I’d love to hear your story or pray for you. You can send me a message on my Contact page, friend.

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