The ugly truth about jealousy has been on my mind this week. It’s one of those secret sins/hurts I don’t discuss often. However, I believe that since God brought this topic to my mind this week, he wants me to share about my double-sided struggle with you.
You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. James 4:2 NLT
The First Side of Jealousy
Jealousy is a destroyer. Whether others are jealous of you, or you are jealous of them, relationships suffer. As this verse describes, it leads us to other sins like scheming, killing (whether literally or figuratively), fighting, waging war, and stealing.
When have you felt jealousy toward others? I have felt jealous in seasons of lack or struggles. For example, when I struggled to shed weight, I was jealous of thinner women. In seasons of financial struggles, I felt jealous of friends who could afford vacations and nicer vehicles. These feelings did not increase my peace. They only increased my discontentment and frustration.
To fight off my jealous feelings, I meditate on scriptures about contentment. I encourage you to meditate on scriptures when you feel jealousy creeping in. I’ve made a printable of scriptures about contentment, and it’s accessible to you as a subscriber to my email list. You can sign up in the pink boxes on this page.
We can also put the verse from James into practice and pray for what we want. It’s OK with God when we pray for things we don’t have, because he will reveal whether they are good for us or not as we keep praying. He may not answer the prayer right away, but he will soften our hearts as we persevere. For example, through prayer God has helped me genuinely celebrate when others take vacations, and now I enjoy my less-frequent vacations even more.
Jealousy is a destroyer. Whether others are jealous of you, or you are jealous of them, relationships suffer. #relationshiphelp #jealousy Click To Tweet
The Second Side of Jealousy
Have others felt jealous of you? I haven’t shared openly about this before. But I have faced jealousy from others most of my life. Some have blatantly told me they “hate” me for the gifts God has given me. Others are more subtle, but I feel their jealous looks and know the distance they place between us is due to wanting what I have.
This is how I handle jealous remarks from others. If God prompts me to speak at all, I say something like this: “If you knew all the problems I have, you probably wouldn’t want to trade places with me. And I’m sure I’d feel the same toward you if I knew all your problems.” Even if it’s unwise for me to speak those words, I think about them and feel better. I feel more compassion toward my offender when I consider this.
Another way I handle jealousy from others is to pray for them. Getting upset with them is a total waste of time (I’ve wasted hours doing just that). When I pray for my offender, God helps me choose the high road. I pray that my offender will be content in her own situation. I ask God to bless this person and help her understand that her problems or deficiencies are not unique. Finally, I ask God to help me show kindness to the person despite the jealous vibes I feel from her. Prayer makes all the difference in handling a jealous person.
Prayer makes all the difference in how you handle a jealous person. #jealousy #relationshiphelp Click To TweetA Prayer to Help You Overcome Jealousy
Tackling the jealousy giant isn’t easy. But when God knows that you want to go to battle, he will help you right in the moment. You can take your jealous situations to God in prayer, and he will give you perfect peace when you surrender the situations to him.
Here’s a prayer to encourage you today:
Heavenly Father,
I praise you for offering me an abundant life. You have blessed me beyond measure.
I confess that I deal with this secret sin of jealousy. I also sometimes have hard feelings toward those who express jealousy to me. But I want to deal with these situations in ways that please you, Lord.
When I become jealous of others, remind me that I can find true contentment in you alone.
When others show jealousy of me, help me offer them compassion and forgiveness.
In both scenarios, remind me to go directly to you in prayer, Lord. As I pray, I know you will help me become more like your Son.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
How do you handle feelings of jealousy? I’d love to hear from you and pray for you. You can reply in the comments below, or send me an email through my contact page.
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