What is a key to combatting loneliness? I discovered it today, and I want to share it with you. It’s based on research in Psychology Today.
A Key to Combatting Loneliness
Today I saw this article from Psychology Today about loneliness.
The article is research-backed, and it says that a key to combatting loneliness is knowing your purpose.
Though this is a secular article, it points to truths I learned about 20 years ago when my church did a sermon series and small group study on Rick Warren’s contemporary classic, The Purpose-Driven Life.
Without even having to open that book again, I remember the first sentence: “It’s not about you.”
This surprised me – my own purpose isn’t about me?!?
But the book clearly showed that our purpose is rooted in glorifying God with our unique gifts, talents, experiences and hurts.
Seeking Purpose in Loneliness
In this difficult year of getting a divorce and losing primary family relationships, I’ve struggled with loneliness in all new ways.
Loneliness has been a constant companion of mine since I was four and my parents divorced. So it’s no surprise I would experience loneliness after losing my marriage. Loneliness certainly isn’t a stranger to me.
Yet I’ve been pondering why this loneliness feels different than any other kind I’ve experienced in the past 40 years.
I believe it’s because I instinctively know that this lonely period is only temporary and has a specific purpose. Several wise people have spoken blessings over me this year, prophetically saying great joys lie ahead for me. They have compared me to Job suffering for no known reason, or Joseph sitting in prison for crimes he did not commit.
Our purpose is rooted in glorifying God. So how does that apply to loneliness? Here's the key. #purpose #purposeful #lonely #loneliness Click To Tweet
Learning about Loneliness from Joseph
This year, God has told me I am learning some of the things Joseph learned in prison, probably his loneliest period.
Yet Joseph’s lonely period was full of purpose – the purpose of preparation.
Like Joseph, I have suffered terribly due to no fault of my own this year. I have been viciously and cruelly attacked, mocked, and spat upon by evil people. Months later, I am still being taunted and tested by people who want to hold me down in what feels like a minimum security prison some days.
But these are some of the lessons God has taught me this year, which I believe Joseph could only learn in the lonely darkness and isolation of his prison years.
Lessons on Loneliness
- Loneliness may feel unfair, but it’s a time of rich preparation. I’m certain that Joseph had some epic conversations with God in that darkness, where there was nowhere else to turn. Joseph must have poured out his frustrations before God and noted just how unfair his situation was regarding his brothers, Potiphar’s wife, and the cupbearer and baker. I’m also certain God affirmed Joseph’s unfairness, yet reassured him that he was being prepared for a greater season. God is allowing me to pour out my feelings of unfairness and reassuring me that he is preparing me for better times to come.
- Loneliness involves wrestling with the truth. I have no doubt that Joseph’s mind often returned to the dreams God had given him as a teenager. Dreams of greatness that he likely couldn’t fully understand, but knew to be true. God is also inviting me to wrestle with him over the hopeful truths he has spoken to me through the years, some from my teen years as well. Though I can’t see the fulfillment of those dreams yet, I am choosing to believe they are still God’s purpose for me.
- Loneliness involves severe testing that proves purpose. Joseph got a tiny glimmer of hope that he would be released from prison, but his hopes were slammed back down hard. He stayed there for two more long years. Twice this year, I’ve experienced a mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual taste of what release from my suffering will look like. Then I was slammed back down within a short period. As painful as that has been, I can now see the purpose in those trials which are directly preparing me for what lies ahead.
Loneliness as Preparation
We know that God used Joseph’s loneliness and suffering as a time of preparation for his greatest achievement – saving the known world from starvation, including the twelve tribes of Israel through whom Jesus would be born. Perhaps Joseph’s purpose could only be refined in that dark, lonely, isolated place before he rose to greatness.
It’s clear that Joseph didn’t squander his purpose even in tough, lonely situations. He must have firmly believed the purpose God spoke to him in his teenage dreams. He knew he was born to be a leader. This helped him find motivation and purpose even as a slave and a prisoner. His leadership skills were honed in those lonely fires. Joseph was 100 percent ready to rise to the occasion when he was called to be Pharoah’s right-hand man.
It's clear that Joseph didn't squander his purpose even in tough, lonely situations. #biblestory #loneliness #purpose Click To Tweet
Purpose Is the Key to Combatting Loneliness
As I ponder Joseph’s life and consider my own, I am motivated to seek purpose in my loneliness.
I know this lonely time won’t be wasted. In fact, I believe God is using this period of loneliness to hone my purpose in ways that could not otherwise be achieved. That is very hard to admit on the nights when the ache runs deep. Yet I cling to the truth that I’ll be set free someday when God deems it’s time.
I have a choice – will I glorify God in my loneliness and thereby affirm its purpose, or will I become hard and bitter? I don’t want to be a hard-hearted person, though a soft-hearted person is more exposed to hurt. So even though loneliness is a form of suffering, I’m trusting that God will use it for my ultimate good. He’s using it for the ultimate purpose I can’t yet see in the future.
Will I glorify God in my loneliness and thereby affirm its purpose, or will I become hard and bitter? Encouragement for you here. #lonely #purpose #loneliness #suffering Click To Tweet
Combatting Loneliness with Purpose
So now for you: how will you connect with your purpose to combat loneliness? I recommend you get a copy of The Purpose-Driven Life to discover your purpose. Also ponder these questions from the Psychology Today article through the lens of glorifying God:
I pray that as you struggle with combatting loneliness, you will turn to God and ask him to reveal his purpose for your life. Ask him to reveal the purpose of your loneliness too, and how it can hone you for greatness in the future.
Want more help overcoming lonely thoughts through the power of God’s Word? Check out the Lonely Thoughts chapter in my book, Transforming Your Thought Life: Christian Meditation in Focus.
If you send me a prayer request in your lonely season, I’m honored to receive it from you. Please contact me HERE.
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