How to Love A Bully

Today’s post is based on chapter 14 of my latest book, Newness of Life, recently released on Amazon.  Get your copy for $2.99 this week!

In my current season, I face a bully almost every day.  A person who makes every interaction unpleasant.  A person who doesn’t own their bully status, but fights with snarky words and subtle put-downs.  A person who does all they can to convey the message that I’m unwanted, unappreciated, and better off somewhere else.

This bully gives me the perfect opportunity for a time to love even when it’s hard.  Over time I’ve adopted  five practices for showing love to this bully.

Prayer.  Jesus told us to pray for our enemies, and I decided to put this into action.  As I’ve prayed for this person, my eyes have been opened to the challenges they face: loneliness, broken relationships, constant frustration.  Praying blessings on this person has rooted the hate out of my heart and replaced it with compassion.

Compliments.  When this person wears something nice or does something well, I offer a genuine compliment.  I want this person to see me as someone other than an adversary.  When I offer a compliment, I heap burning coals of kindness on this person’s head.

Learning.  I take mental notes of how NOT to treat others from this person.  I try to do this with a humble attitude.  I think, “If I was as blind to my faults as this person was, I’d probably act the same way.”  In interacting with this person, I have learned to pray often that God would search my heart and reveal my blind offenses.

Keeping Silent.  Not every battle is worth fighting.  I don’t regret the battles I’ve fought with this person, but as time goes on, I’m becoming wiser over what is worth the next battle.  As I heard many times growing up, when I can’t say something nice, I don’t say anything at all.  Also I am learning to trust in God as my Defender; I don’t have to stand up every time, because He is fighting on my behalf.

Seeking Counsel.  Sometimes the pressure of dealing with a bully builds up, and I have to talk about it to release it.  A few trusted friends have given me affirmation and new perspective, which helps me face this situation with renewed strength.

I don’t know how long this season will last.  Yet I am choosing to believe God has a purpose for me in this trial, as long as He asks me to stay in it.

I don’t know when the next attack will occur.  But I am choosing to live in faith instead of fear.  

I don’t know whether others will back me up in the next battle, or if I will face it alone.  Today, I am claiming the promises of Psalm 18:1-2, and I am choosing to trust in my Strength, my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my Shield, my Salvation, and my Stronghold.  

God will protect me from harm and lift me up in due time, out of this bully situation, and set me free.


Questions for reflection: (please comment below)

In which life situation are you tempted to lash out in hate, rather than respond with love?

Which linked Bible verse in the five suggestions inspires you today?

What practical step can you take today to love when it’s hard?

Study Guides

Here are links to free resources that will help you in the online Bible study or your personal study of Newness of Life:

Newness of Life Worksheets

Online Bible Study Reading Plan


Giveaways will be announced on Fridays.  If you comment in my Facebook group, you’ll be entered to win the grand prize on Feb. 3.

This week’s winner will receive a surprise collection of three books and a magnet set of these beauties:

My new book will help you apply Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 so you can understand God’s plan in your current season.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

No matter what season you are in, God is teaching you valuable lessons to grow your faith and trust in Him.  We will discover what God is saying through the different times and activities we traverse.

I look forward to hearing how God is working in your current life season.  I hope you will join in the fun and discussion on the online Bible study.

Please vote 17 on this link: Click HERE! so I can make my publishing dream come true. God set me free from my fear of abandonment, and I want the world to know!

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  • I love your call to live with faith instead of fear! These are great practical ways to handle a difficult situation. Thank you for these powerful truths!

    • Sarah

      Thanks Nicole. Blessings to you, Friend!

  • Sherry Thecharmofhome

    Great testimony. Yes, only God truly knows what a challenging person battles. Jesus teaches to love one another. I am reading your book Sarah. I have enjoyed it. Will post a review soon on Facebook page.

    • Sarah

      Thank you so much Sherry. I am grateful to count you as one of my readers, and your review will bless me! If you can post it on Amazon also, that would be even better. Blessings to you!

  • Pingback: New Life from Old Stumps | Sarah Geringer()

  • Sarah, this was PACKED with helpful tools. Even if we don’t have a “bully” in our lives we all have those one or two individuals that challenge us. I’m printing off your post and keeping it close by…SO helpful! (I’m in your neighborhood today over at #livefree…DoAhead Woman.) Hope you have a great day!

    • Sarah

      Cindy, this means so much to me. I’m glad my trial is helping you so much that you felt led to print it out! Blessings to you, and I will be sure to visit your link when I read blogs this weekend!

  • Well I’m behind a couple of chapters in the Newness of Life study, but I’m here anyway. 🙂 Sorry you’re dealing with a continual harassment. Tough choices. One thing I fall back on is that love is a choice. I make a conscious choice to love and it makes a big difference.

    • Sarah

      So glad you are reading! Love is a choice, and waiting well for deliverance is the choice I’m writing about today for #fiveminutefriday!