Every month, I guest post at several popular sites. For your reading convenience, I’m gathering my monthly guest posts here in a sampler.

Meetings With God

Meetings can be super productive, but they can also be long and boring. I enjoy face-to-face interaction in meetings, but I also like getting to the point. I have mixed feelings about meetings…how about you?

Some managers I’ve worked with have not led meetings very well. If there is no clear agenda, a meeting quickly falls flat. Others want to talk, talk, and talk more than execute. You need a good balance of listening, talking and brainstorming to have a productive meeting.

Isaiah has long been my favorite book of the Bible for its beautiful imagery and promises. This year, I turned to The Message for a fresh translation, and I read this interesting take on Isaiah 1:10-15.

Quit your worship charades.
I can’t stand your trivial religious games:
Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings–
meetings, meetings, meetings–I can’t stand one more!
Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
You’ve worn me out!
I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion,
while you go right on sinning.
When you put on your next prayer-performance,
I’ll be looking the other way.
No matter how long or loud or often you pray,
I’ll not be listening.
And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing
people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.

God’s people were going through the motions. Their meetings meant nothing to God because they were all talk and no heart. God wanted them to come clean and demonstrate their love for him and for others more than he wanted another shallow meeting with them.

God craves a relationship with us. If our heart isn’t in our meeting times, whether they are private times of prayer or public times of corporate worship, he knows. He wants us to develop a relationship of talking, listening, and sharing ideas with him more than he wants our rote rhythms.

This is how the scripture continues in Isaiah 10:16-17.

Go home and wash up.
Clean up your act.
Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings
so I don’t have to look at them any longer.
Say no to wrong.
Learn to do good.
Work for justice.
Help the down-and-out.
Stand up for the homeless.
Go to bat for the defenseless.

I love the practicality of God’s Word. He wants us to seek him in private, heart-to-heart meetings where our hearts are purified by his forgiveness. But equally so, he wants us to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others. I need this reminder today, and maybe you do too!

This post originally appeared on Woman 2 Woman Ministries.

A Mountaintop Experience With God

This post originally appeared on Woman 2 Woman Ministries.

The Best Counselor We Can Find

This post originally appeared on Woman 2 Woman Ministries.

A Prayer to Number Our Days

This post originally appeared on Woman 2 Woman Ministries.

Gratitude in the Valley of Shadows

I woke to the luscious scent of purple irises. I had placed a vase of them on my nightstand in April 2015, when my husband packed his belongings and left. Those delicate flowers in my favorite color reminded me to give thanks inside a valley of shadows.

My parents divorced when I was four, and their split permanently altered my worldview. The fear of abandonment held me captive for decades and persisted throughout my challenging marriage. On the night my husband left, I was taken aback by the sight of his empty closet. It reminded me of a whitewashed tomb.

I burst into tears after holding myself together for our heartbroken children. Suddenly, I was living out my literal worst nightmare, when my own father had left me and forever changed my world. I didn’t want that future for our children, yet I feared I was staring death in the face.

Satan tempted me to lean into the shadows of that valley. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from my fears. My flesh longed to wallow in self-pity and hopelessness, but God nudged my spirit. He cast a gentle light into my valley of suffering.

The Lord encouraged me to look for reasons to be thankful even when I couldn’t see what the future held. I began searching for thankfulness every day though my heartache didn’t relent.

As I began searching, I glimpsed gratitude in everyday moments:

• The musical sound of my oldest son’s laughter.
• The warmth of my middle son’s lingering hugs.
• My daughter’s precious gap-toothed smile.
• The fresh scent of newly mown grass.
• The first sweet strawberries of spring.

Abundant life was undeniable, all around me. As I sought out thanksgiving, I found hope and joy against the backdrop of darkness. My circumstances hadn’t changed, but a shift in attitude changed my perspective.

Inside your valley of shadows, thankfulness is a choice. We can choose to give thanks to God even while living out our worst fears. No matter which valley we walk through, we can look for glimpses of gratitude on the journey.

The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV,

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Note that it does not tell us to give thanks for all circumstances. But we are commanded to give thanks in all circumstances, because it is God’s will, not our own.

I was not thankful for my marriage separation nor the fears of abandonment it stirred in me. My children’s tears and my reasonable concerns did not create gratitude. But God wasn’t asking me to be thankful for those painful realities.

God wanted me to pour my heart out to him in honesty, not brush a veneer of false thanksgiving over my deep hurts. My prayers took on new depth in that season. When I got the hard things out of the way in prayer, God opened space for me to see reasons for rejoicing.

As I deliberately chose to be thankful, God gave me the power to fight back in that valley. My temptation toward fear diminished every time I spoke words of thanks to God in prayer.

Gratitude in my valley of shadows pointed me toward God’s life-giving light.

Our separation lasted five weeks, yet the lessons I learned in it have made a lasting impact on my faith. Other valleys since that time have been lit up with thanksgiving. The shadows seem less threatening because I recognize God’s nudges toward gratitude along the way.

This post originally appeared on Messy Marriage.

Fighting a Scarcity Mindset with Christian Meditation

Do you struggle with thoughts that you are “not enough?” 

If so, Satan is trying to hold you down with a scarcity mindset. But God has helped me overcome my scarcity mindset through Christian meditation, and I want to help you fight back with the truth of God’s Word.

Your Scarcity Mindset is a Spiritual Battle

I have faced spiritual warfare in my thought life. We know that Satan attacks us first in our minds. If he can conquer us there, his battle is half-won.

Have thoughts like these crossed your mind?

• I’ll never be good enough.
• No one really wants to be my friend. They just put up with me.
• There’s always too much month at the end of my money.
• There are so many people applying for this position that I don’t stand a chance.
• There’s no hope for my marriage. Divorce is the only way out.
• My children won’t listen to me. I give up.
• This is just the way I am. Change is too hard.

These thoughts are like landmines on the battlefield of your mind. When you ruminate on them over and over, you step on them again and again. You are injured each time you think on them, and your injuries keep you from moving forward. You become stuck in a spiritual battlefield of scarcity thinking.

Satan wants to keep you immobile. He wants you to believe that your limitations limit your potential. He may take legitimate truth and twist it into its worst possible scenario to frighten and paralyze you. He may also tell you flat-out lies to keep you bound to untruths. Satan can also cause you to question God’s goodness to you, like your natural talents and God-given strengths.

He’s been using these tactics since the Garden of Eden, and he’ll keep defeating you with them if you fail to fight back. But as you embrace positive thoughts infused with Scripture, you can overcome a scarcity mindset. You will then experience victory on the spiritual battlefield instead of defeat.

God Promises an Abundant Life for You

Jesus brought abundant life into every situation while he was on earth. He healed the sick, opened the eyes of the blind, and helped the lame to walk. All of them were in literal scarcity situations in the days before modern medicine and social support programs.

He touched and healed lepers who everyone considered “not enough” in their society, due to their infectious disease and their unclean status according to Hebrew law. Jesus encouraged and included women, stuck in the “not enough” category of their patriarchal society. He specialized in giving hope to everyone stuck in literal or figurative scarcity situations during the time he was on earth.

The good news for you? Jesus wants to offer you freedom from your scarcity situations too. He may not heal your diseases, provide financial blessings, or fix all your relationship problems. However, no matter which situation you are facing, Jesus will set you free from your scarcity mindset and give you abundant life in your thinking. When you have a renewed mindset that aligns with God’s will, you can have victory despite your literal or figurative scarcity situation.

Overcome a Scarcity Mindset with Christian Meditation

By meditating on key scriptures to help you fight scarcity thinking, you can replace wrong thoughts with Scripture. Since Jesus himself resisted Satan with Scripture (see Matthew 4), we can resist Satan in the same manner. We can meditate on scriptures about abundance to overcome our scarcity-bound thoughts.

When a scarcity thought similar to the ones above pops in your mind, declare these verses with God’s authority. By reviewing them over and over in Christian meditation, they will be secure in your heart and mind when Satan tempts you.

How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.

-Psalm 31:19 NIV

But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.

-Psalm 37:11 ESV

Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.

-Psalm 69:16 ESV

They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

-Psalm 145:7 NIV

Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.

-Psalm 147:5 ESV

“May they have abundant peace, both near and far,” says the Lord, who heals them.

-Isaiah 57:19 NLT

“‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

-Jeremiah 33:6 NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

-John 10:10 ESV

You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.

-John 16:24 NLT

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

-2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

You can simply speak these verses as they are, or craft them into a prayer of faith. Here’s an example of how to turn a verse into a prayer, using John 10:10—

Jesus, you promised to give me life and provide it abundantly. I know that Satan wants to steal and kill and destroy, to take the power of your promise from me. But I choose to believe that you have abundant life already in store for me. Give me your hope, joy and peace as I patiently wait for you to reveal your will.

Keep these verses handy so they are ready when a scarcity-based thought tempts you. Write them out in a notebook or put them on sticky notes. You can keep them in a card in your wallet or post them on your bathroom mirror.

Use whatever method works for you to hide these verses in your heart and mind through repetition. Meditate on them carefully, asking God to help you apply them to your thought life. In time, you will be able to fight back directly with Scripture, and you’ll experience the abundant life God promises rather than a scarcity mindset.

This post originally appeared at Courage Hope Love by Nicole Kauffman.

How to Handle Toxic In-Laws

Do you have an in-law who is wreaking havoc on your marriage? This may be a laughing matter on sitcoms. However, if this problem affects you, it’s not funny at all.

For years, this was a big problem in my marriage. I won’t get specific on who, where, or when in this post. But the toxicity took its toll on me in boiling-over episodes of rage, all-caps emails, vitriolic put-downs, and no ownership of past offenses.

When I took my in-law problems to my counselor, I asked him if he thought they were serious enough to confront. He compared my in-law to a viper ready to strike at any given moment, without warning. Since vipers strike to kill, he said yes, confrontation was not just necessary, but essential for preserving my emotional and mental well-being.

My counselor recommended the Matthew 18:15-17 model of confrontation to limit the toxicity. Though this passage applies to handling problems between believers, it also works with nonbelievers. This is how it played out in our situation.

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.

Matthew 18:15 NLT

I first tried to approach this person one-on-one. Since the toxicity was so great, a phone call was the best choice. Email was too easily misconstrued, as were texts. The phone was the safest place to approach my toxic in-law on a direct basis, because the attacks had happened mostly in person, one on one. For many wives, this step can be handled between your husband and the in-law.

But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.

Matthew 18:16 NLT

When the first approach met with denial and confusion, I arranged an in-person meeting with my husband along. I prepared at length for this confrontation. Using many books for reference, I wrote out a speech. I sought Christian advice from three trusted friends, who gave me feedback on the speech. I also ran it by my husband and made modifications based on his advice. I covered the matter in prayer for weeks.

If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church.

Matthew 18:17a

The in-person meeting with my in-law and husband fell flat. It became crystal clear that this person was unwilling to discuss our problems in a logical manner. Since we met a major roadblock at this point, we decided to forgive and cut our losses. But if you are following the Matthew 18 model, you could involve your church leaders or other relatives at this point.

Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Matthew 18:17b

For the past several years, I have had no contact with this in-law. My husband facilitates and usually supervises visits that involve our children. The toxicity has greatly decreased because I’m no longer a scapegoat for the in-law’s abuse. You may also need to physically and emotionally distance yourself from a toxic in-law if the previous steps don’t work.

Most in-law problems can be handled with the first few steps. But if your in-law is truly toxic, you’ll need to go all the way through to the final step. Make sure your husband is on board with you. Cover the matter in prayer and seek wise advice from your pastor, counselor, and several godly friends before ever approaching your in-law. Remember God cares about your mental and emotional health. If your toxic in-law is threatening your well-being, it may be time to confront.

Wife Step: Talk with your husband about your in-law problem. Then decide where, when and how to put the Matthew 18 model in motion.

This post originally appeared at A Wife Like Me.

How to Gain Victory in Your Thought Life

Our thought lives form the structure for our words and actions. Every problem we have begins in our thoughts. Since no one else knows our thoughts except God, we think we can hide them.

However, what you think in your inward life inevitably spills out onto your outward life. You can either be defeated in your thought life before you ever take action, or you can transform your thought life with the power of God’s Word. You can have victory in your thought life struggles by meditating on the truths in Scripture.

Our Past Experiences 

Many of us experienced hurt and difficulties in our past that influence our lives now. For example, my parents divorced when I was four years old. The fallout from their divorce has affected nearly every area of my thinking.

As a little girl, I began dealing with negative, anxious, fearful, and critical thoughts in response to the wounds the divorce caused. These thoughts carved paths in my conscious and subconscious mind that still tempt me today.

I have used the power of Scripture to reroute those thought life paths. You can reroute your own thought pathways by using key scriptures in specific problems.

The Battle With Our Thought Life

Satan wants to distract, discourage, and defeat us on the battlefields of our minds. If he can do this, our words and actions will automatically follow his will instead of God’s will. He sets up strongholds, or power centers, in the pain points of our past, then capitalizes on them in our current thought life struggles.

When we fight back with the truth of Scripture, we can dismantle those spiritual strongholds. By repeating key verses over and over to yourself, you can break the power Satan may have held over you for decades in your thought life struggles.

Conquering Thought Life with Christian Meditation

Christian meditation is simply focusing on a scripture and thinking about it with intent. The more you focus on God’s Word through meditation, the more you learn about God’s will for your life. You can apply scriptural truths directly to specific thought life problems and experience freedom.

For example, if you struggle with painful thoughts, you can meditate on verses about God’s comfort. By repeating these verses every time you experience a painful memory, you can begin to reroute the neural pathways in your brain. When you do this over and over, you begin to think differently because God’s truth replaces the lies planted by your enemy Satan.

Thought Life and Relationship With God

When you meditate on God’s Word, you are hiding it in your heart and mind. As you learn God’s language of truth and love in Scripture, you will learn more about his character and his ways.

Christian meditation helps you worship God and cultivate a closer walk with him. When you experience the freedom that comes with thought life transformation, you will realize that God deserves credit for setting you free.

Scripture meditation will inspire your adoration, praise and thanksgiving to God. It has the potential to take your faith to new heights in only a few minutes every day.

Victory Over Our Thoughts

I chose 17 areas of thought life struggles to focus on in my book, because I have experienced all of them at different points in my faith journey.

In each chapter, I tell stories about how God set me free from a certain thought life struggle such as guilt, impurity, idolatry, and regret. When I was struggling in these areas, I did not experience victory until I began meditating upon scriptures that directly counteracted those problems.

As I meditated, I recognized how Satan tempted me with the same unproductive thought paths again and again. By replacing his falsehoods with the truth of God’s Word, I experienced freedom for the first time.

Now, I know to fight back immediately with Scripture, just like Jesus did when he was tempted. Through Christian meditation, I have key scriptures in my spiritual arsenal to fight back the moment I’m attacked.

Transforming Our Thought Life

I want readers to learn about the power God’s Word gives us to break free from spiritual strongholds. Many of us have Bibles in our possession, but do not understand how God’s Word literally holds the solution to all our problems.

By internalizing God’s Word in our hearts through Christian meditation, our thought lives can truly be transformed for good.

This post originally appeared on my friend Karen Friday’s site.

Author Interview at Meghan Weyerbacher’s site

My friend Meghan has an interview with me based on the October 2019 debut of my book, Transforming Your Thought Life. There’s a special Q&A section on my writing life on this post. I encourage you to head over and read the interview HERE.