Can a difficult marriage change? The answer, I’m happy to report, is Yes. Here’s how my difficult marriage has changed for the better in the past 20 years.
Category: Faith Stories
Are you going through a hard middle season, with an unknown future, where grief is trying to steal your joy? A couple years ago, I wrote the following essay on a season like this, and I feel it’s time to share it with you.
My Hard Middle
I walked the mile to the farm on the rarest of evenings: cool instead of hot and humid in August. Alone since my children and husband were elsewhere. A strong, silent longing called me there.
My great-grandparents bought the property 70 years ago. The only person left there now is my grandma, who is still going strong in her eighth decade. I don’t know how much longer she will be able stay, and I don’t know what will happen when she can’t.
Our family farm is in the hard middle, like so many other farms in the Midwest. The old times are gone when generations of families kept cultivating the same land. Now, family members either can’t afford to buy the farm or don’t want it for themselves. Our family farm will likely belong to someone else all too soon.
As I walked the property, the memories began pouring out, and my tears of grief began falling.
Our family farm is in the hard middle, like so many other farms in the Midwest. The old times are gone when generations of families kept cultivating the same land. #grief #farm #comfort Click To Tweet
Grief in the Hard Middle
I surveyed all the familiar sights on this farm I know so well. The site of the shed where my great-grandpa raised piglets, when that was still profitable for small farms. I remember watching the piglets fight over their rightful spaces near their mamas. I can still smell that pungent pig smell inside the wooden structure that no longer exists.
Here is where the smokehouse stood. My whole family would gather on butchering days. The scent of hickory smoke takes me back to age three, watching the women wrapping hams the men hung up for curing. I can still hear the crinkling of the waxed paper.
The long-gone flowerbed where my great-grandma planted tulips, dianthus, and sweet peas. I inherited her love of flowers, her curly hair, and her sharp memory. I remember her weathered hands so skilled at making coffeecakes, stitching quilts, and gathering eggs.
This is the pond where my mom once caught a 12-pound catfish. How many times have we all gathered here for fish fries, laughter, and fellowship? When was the last time? I can’t remember. It’s been too long since Grandpa’s passing, which was like removing the center of a wheel. All the spokes have scattered.
Here is the plot where Grandpa and Grandma shared their garden space with me. I harvested more than 100 baby pumpkins that year, when I was a new mom in need of adult conversation. They doted on my baby boy while I built ab muscles, hauling the water hoses back and forth.
This is the place of so many happy Christmases, hearty lunches and good times. The steady, secure, healing place for me as a child of divorce. This is where I learned about life, love and God.
I know this place, every inch. Today I wish I could keep it forever as a constant source of comfort.
I know this place, every inch. Today I wish I could keep it forever as a constant source of comfort. #familyfarm #grief #testimony Click To Tweet
The Shocks of the Hard Middle
I have been surprised by shocks in this hard middle. Change arrives unbidden. Plans shoot off in unexpected directions. Grief springs up sudden and unwelcome.
In the hard middle, you wonder if your heart will ever be fully healed. You crave comfort more than ever.
I wonder if the disciples felt these mixed emotions in their hard middle. They had been shocked by Jesus’ crucifixion and death. They were terrified of what came next.
On that dark, confusing Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, I’m sure grief was staring them in the face like a looming monster. They must have craved the familiar comfort of Jesus’ presence.
But I hope in that difficult time, they reflected on the words Jesus shared with them less than 24 hours earlier:
Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
John 16:22 NLT
Grief is the required passageway through the hard middle. You must let go of what lies behind and hold onto hope that God will restore your joy.
Grief is the required passageway through the hard middle. You must let go of what lies behind and hold onto hope that God will restore your joy. #joy #grief #spiritualgrowth Click To Tweet
Faith in the Hard Middle
The journey through the hard middle also requires faith. Faith that the middle isn’t the end.
Previous generations passed their faith down to me. Now I carry the seeds of their faith in my heart, ready to share them with future generations. Faith is helping me move through this hard middle.
The sun was setting pink and purple as I walked off the property, hugging myself tight. Looking back on the fields, gratitude replaced my grief as I said one of many goodbyes in my heart.
That’s when God whispered to me:
You will not always have this place. But you will always have Me.
I looked over at the nearby cemetery, where the remains of my ancestors await Jesus’ return. Then, I thanked God for the foundation of faith they gave me. I praised Him for always being with me. Finally, I asked Jesus to give me new hope for what is to come.
No matter what happens in this hard middle, I know God is present with me. He is the constant source of comfort I’ve been seeking all along. I pray you will find comfort in God’s presence in your hard middle too.
God whispered to me: You will not always have this place. But you will always have Me. #comfort #healing #grief Click To Tweet
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gift of your loving presence.
It’s a wonderful constant in a world full of change.
Today I come before you with my hard middle situation.
I confess to you that grief is trying to steal my joy.
Walk with me through the grief of letting go, Lord.
Comfort me with your abiding presence.
Help me trust that joy will follow this hard middle of grief.
Give me glimpses of the hope to come.
I thank you in advance for the faith you will build in me
as I walk hand-in-hand with you toward the horizon of hope.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Do you have a prayer request to share with me, or feedback on this devotion? Simply reply HERE with your feedback and prayer requests, friend, or leave a comment below.
If you liked this post, I would appreciate your shares on social media!
This post may be linked up at these linkups.
If you make a purchase through the provided links, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you in advance for supporting my writing ministry!
My weekly newsletter Tea on Tuesdays is delivered at 3:00 p.m. Central time every Tuesday. I write an exclusive devotion for you each week that I share with you first.
To receive the newsletter, please subscribe below. I can’t wait to share personally with you each week!
Want to know more about me before you sign up? You can read my story here and learn more about my books here. By signing up, you are agreeing to the terms of my privacy policy.
When you love a prodigal, your heart hurts around the clock. I know, because I’ve had several prodigals in my life. Yet I’ve found hope and comfort by clinging to God in those hard times.
If you’re joining me today from Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Encouragement for Today devotion, welcome! I am honored to write about a past season of loving a prodigal there today. I have several more resources to help you if you are heartbroken over your prodigal.
Several resources to help you if you are heartbroken over your prodigal. #prodigal #familycrisis #encouragement Click To Tweet
Have you been taking something for granted during quarantine? I discovered something new this morning, and I know God meant me to share it with you.
Are you a morning person? I am, and it’s been a key part of my faith journey.
I recently listened to a free LinkedIn course on the best morning habits of high performers. These are practices that millionaires, CEOs, Olympic athletes, and other successful people in the eyes of the world do each morning which they credit to their successes.
Once I listened to this valuable secular advice, I thought, “We can take this worldly knowledge and transform it for even more effectiveness as Christians.”
That’s what I want to share with you the 6 morning habits for victory in Christian living.
Let’s look at the best morning habits the world uses that we can easily adapt for Christian living, and make them even better. I also have a free printable for you!
Prefer to listen? Here’s the podcast episode:
Let's look at the best morning habits the world uses that we can easily adapt for Christian living, and make them even better. #habits #morningperson #christianliving Click To Tweet
6 Morning Habits for Victory in Christian Living
Whether you’re a morning person or not, it’s worth considering this list of habits to employ for greater effectiveness in your Christian life. In certain seasons of my life, such as when my children were babies, I had to shift these priorities around to different times of the day. Try them in the morning if you can, but most importantly, apply them daily to achieve the greatest growth.
1. Silence
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.
Psalm 131:2 NIV
When we are quiet before the Lord in the morning, we can intentionally focus only on him. As I’ve explained in this video, focus is a superpower in our culture. Take a few moments to still yourself in God’s presence. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and tell him that you love him while receiving love from him. The elements of this quiet time will benefit most from a blend of Bible study, prayer, meditation on Scripture, and listening for the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice.
2. Affirmations
For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.
Romans 8:16 NLT
The affirmations we can make as Christians are so much more powerful than the ones the world makes. Rather than saying that we are strong, powerful, and successful in our own power, we can claim the living promises of God. The Bible is chock-full of promises and affirmations of your value in Christ. You can declare these verses out loud for greater victory in the spiritual world. As a subscriber to my email list, you get access to my Library of printables that is full of Scripture affirmations. Simply sign up in the pink box below for instant access.
3. Visualization
During the night God spoke to him in a vision. “Jacob! Jacob!” he called. “Here I am,” Jacob replied.
Genesis 46:2 NLT
The world says to visualize things you want: a better job, a bigger house, a bank account full of money. But those aren’t the kinds of things God wants us to envision. Instead, he wants us to visualize all we can accomplish only by his power and strength. I included this scripture above because Jacob had the right response. “Here I am” is an open-ended invitation for God to speak to us and do whatever he wants through us. We must be willing to submit to God’s will alone, not our own. But we can visualize what God will help us accomplish throughout our day, in total dependence on him. We can say each morning as Jesus said, “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” (Matt. 26:39 NLT)
4. Exercise
For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
1 Timothy 4:8 NIV
Exercise has so many benefits. It revs metabolism, boosts muscle, burns off toxins, increases concentration, and helps us sleep better. I’m glad God’s Word affirms that physical training holds value. It can help us live longer, healthier lives in service to God’s kingdom. My favorite form of exercise in the morning is a prayer walk, where I combine the benefits of physical training with spiritual training. It’s when I meditate on God’s Word, pray for others, and praise God. How will you combine physical training with spiritual training in the morning?
5. Read
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
Psalm 25:5 NIV
The most successful people in the world read at least a few pages of books on personal development each day. We can also greatly benefit from Christian books and devotionals that enhance our study of the Bible (but do not replace it). I read over 100 books per year, and almost all of them are in the Christian living and spiritual growth genre. Christian authors help me see the truths of God’s Word and principles from many different perspectives. Need recommendations for great spiritual books? Check out my Book Reviews page.
6. Journal
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today…Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:6,9 NLT
If you aren’t writing down what God is doing in your life, you’re likely to forget all the ways God is blessing you. I’ve kept a journal since age 10, and it’s wonderful to reread old journals and see the growth God has produced in me. Lately I’ve been keeping a prayer journal to record what I’m praying about a few times per week, and I’ve already tracked some answers. You may also consider using a five-year journal, in which you write a few lines every day. This method will make it easy to reflect on the blessings you’ve experienced for five years in a row! See links to the journals I recommend HERE.
If you want to have victory every day in your walk with God, try out these six tips in the mornings. I pray they will inspire you to be more intentional and fruitful for God’s glory.
6 morning habits for victory in Christian living: Apply these tips for greater effectiveness in God's kingdom. #morninghabits #intentionalliving #christianliving Click To TweetPrayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the fresh start each morning holds.
I want to put you first in my day.
Help me to begin my days in silence before you,
meditating on your ways and your Word.
May those times of fellowship between us
affirm my value in you.
May I only visualize what I can do each day
in your power and strength.
Help me to care for my body so I can serve you
in maximum capacity.
Teach me through quality books
and move me to record your deeds
so my faith can grow each morning.
I thank you in advance for the victories I will have with you
as I meet you in the mornings.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Get your free printable: Meditation Verses for Mornings with God, right HERE, or by clicking on the graphic below. No password required – this is my free gift to you!
Do you have a prayer request to share with me, or feedback on this devotion? Please comment below or send me an email on my Contact page.
If you liked this post, I would appreciate your shares on social media!
This post may be linked up at these linkups.
If you make a purchase through the provided links, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you in advance for supporting my writing ministry!
I send my weekly newsletter Tea on Tuesdays at 3:00 p.m. Central time every Tuesday. I write an exclusive devotion for you each week that I share with you first.
To receive the newsletter, please subscribe below. I can’t wait to share personally with you each week!
Want to know more about me before you sign up? You can read my story here and learn more about my books here. By signing up, you are agreeing to the terms of my privacy policy.