The darkness, 1993

quote card Psalm 23.4

“Everyone is too busy to miss me,” I told myself

on those late afternoons when I was home alone.

“No one cares, no one understands,

and no one truly loves the real me.”

I went to the cabinet, counted the bottles

of pain relievers, estimated

how many it would take

to put me to sleep forever.

I turned the bottles round and round,

heard the pills rattle inside

like a snake who warns you

when you step too close.

I laid in my bed yesterday

and contemplated the cleanness

of that kind of escape,

no blood, no mess, no detailing,

just a drift away into oblivion.

Suddenly I felt a still, warm presence

hovering above and within me

and a calm, firm voice spoke directly

to my spirit:

You don’t need to think like this anymore.

I listened and obeyed

and I felt God’s strong arms

lifting me out of the pit.

When I sat up

I felt stronger and lighter

as the weight lifted from my chest.

Now I see the sun peeking out

between the thick grey clouds.

I’m never going back

into that dark pit anymore.


Images and text copyright 2016 Sarah Geringer

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