Peace With My Children: Day 12 OBS


Welcome to Day 12 of the Christmas Peace for Busy Moms online Bible study!  Today we are discussing creating peace with our children.

Yesterday we discussed how date nights create peace in your marriage.  Why not use the date night idea to create peace with your children too?

After reading The 5 Love Languages, a life-changing book I highly recommend, I bought the companion book The 5 Love Languages of Children.  Author Gary Chapman suggests that as you show love for your children in the “language” they best understand, your bond will be strengthened (and your peace will increase). 

I began paying attention to the subtle ways my children showed love to me.  This is how I identified their love languages.  For example, my middle child loves hugs.  My son feels most loved through giving and receiving physical touch.  On a date with my middle son, I make sure to give him plenty of hugs and affectionate rubs on the head.  (I realize this probably won’t last forever, so I’m enjoying it while I can!) This boy also loves Marvel movies (like me!), so we plan on seeing Dr. Strange together soon.

My daughter’s love language is gifts.  She loves shopping with me and making me homemade presents.  This girl will bankrupt me if I’m not careful, so I think the $5 date night would be fun and wise for both of us!  She is also artistic and creative like me, and making crafts or cooking together is just right for both of us.  This year we’re both working on Focus on the Family’s All the Colors Of Christmas Advent Activity Calendar.  It will be a spiritual, creative, and peaceful activity we both enjoy.

My oldest son’s language is quality time/conversation.  This is also my primary love language.  I have noticed his pre-teen attitude (you know what I’m talking about) decreases dramatically when we spend quality time together.  He opens up about things he doesn’t typically share, and I’m so grateful he trusts me with his heart.  A win for both of us in our mutual love language.  The way to this boy’s heart is also through food—believe me, I need to use coupons on dinner dates with him!

By taking my children out on dates now, I am increasing peace in our relationships, and also preparing them for the future.  They will understand the value of one-on-one time with people they love, and have creative ideas for dates with their future spouses.

On almost every date with my children, I also try to casually weave faith-based themes into our conversations.  I want them to feel natural about discussing faith matters, and Christmas is such an easy time to do this.  I don’t necessarily share a Bible story with them; I simply talk about how God is working in my life and how I see God working in theirs. We talk about their love languages and their other gifts and skills, and discuss the possible plans God has for their futures.  This kind of focused attention creates a palpable sense of peace in our relationship.

Questions for you:

How can date nights with your children create peace in your relationship?

How can you use one-on-one time with your children to build up their faith?

Our theme verse for this week:


Find the printable Bedside Reminder Card of this verse here.

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3 thoughts on “Peace With My Children: Day 12 OBS

  1. I would be lost in my mothering without understanding Love Languages! I have my oldest daughter figured out, but I’m still working to understand my youngest….she may be quality time or gifts. Love this idea about preparing for the busy season by setting aside time now to connect with your children. You go, mama!

    1. Thanks Sarah! I believe the book says that it takes time to understand their language, and the older they get the easier it is to see more clearly how they express and need love. Keep at it with your youngest, and God’s peace to you!

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