If you are in an unequally yoked marriage, I understand the unique trials and frustrations you feel. My husband and I have been married since 2000, and I went into the marriage knowing we were unequally yoked.
Maybe that is the same situation for you, or perhaps you were saved after you were married. Maybe you are both believers, but you are on a separate spiritual plane from your spouse. No matter what your story is, God knows your heart. He wants you to thrive in your marriage now, despite the challenges and heartache you may be facing.
I have found strength, affirmation, and healing in these 12 verses. They have kept me on track in times of deep marriage struggle, even during a brief separation in 2015. My faith is stronger today because of these verses, which have kept me committed to my marriage. I pray these verses will encourage you as they have encouraged me.
12 Verses of Encouragement for the Unequally Yoked Marriage
1. God is your perfect spouse.
The Creator is your Husband. Isaiah 54:5a NLT
The truth is, no spouse can ever meet all our needs. But in an unequally yoked marriage, you feel that tension more dramatically than in an equally yoked marriage. One of your most basic needs—spiritual intimacy—cannot be met. However, God is waiting to fill this need for you, and He will fill it perfectly. Give him the desires of your heart in prayer, and watch how he meets them through His presence, His comfort, and His peace.
2. God sees your struggle.
“Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, ‘You are the God who sees me.’” Genesis 16:13 NLT
Hagar was cast off, mistreated, and neglected. Have you ever felt that way in your marriage? I certainly have. But God met Hagar in the wilderness. He did not leave her alone, nor did He leave her without provision. Hagar marveled that God saw her, valued her, and provided for her. He is doing the same for you—take hope from that truth.
3. Don’t beat yourself up.
“There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 NLT
You may struggle with guilt and shame for knowingly choosing an unequally yoked marriage. Understand, friend, that once you married your spouse, God blessed your marriage and called it sacred. Forgive yourself for any mistakes, and receive God’s free gift of grace.
4. Be committed to your marriage.
If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:12-14
You are certain to face struggles, because you are at odds on a spiritual level. But those struggles aren’t reasons to give up. Paul continues in verse 16 of this passage that our spouses may be saved because we stay. God will honor your marriage commitment, and he will help you persevere.
5. Be prepared for spiritual attacks.
Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. Ephesians 6:11 NLT
God will equip you for battle with all the armor described in Ephesians 6:13-18. Realize that you aren’t fighting against your spouse; you’re fighting against a spiritual enemy who wants to see you fail. (See Ephesians 6:12.) With God’s help, you will stand firm and glorify Him in your battles.
6. Guard your heart against temptation.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV
The unequally yoked spouse faces unique temptations. You may be drawn to godly people of the opposite sex. You may be tempted to immerse yourself in romance novels, films, or music to make up the difference in your marriage. Study this verse: everything you do flows from what is in your heart. If you constantly focus on what you DON’T have, your heart will be discouraged and prone to temptation. Identify your triggers and avoid them. Cover your weak areas with prayer, and look to healthy alternatives for relief.
7. Be faithful in prayer.
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. Romans 12:12 NLT
This verse is custom-made for the unequally yoked spouse. Pray for yourself: that God would strengthen, guide, and comfort you. Pray for your spouse: their struggles, their needs, and their salvation. It’s easy to lose hope and grow weary of praying for salvation, year after year. But rejoice in your confident hope, that God loves your spouse even more than you do and desires his or her salvation far more than you ever could.
8. Be a loving spouse.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT
Your spouse may feel in competition with God for your affection, even if he or she never says so. Learn your spouse’s love language and regularly affirm your love with practical actions. God will give you the love to show even if you feel lonely or discouraged.
9. Be thankful in everything.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT
You don’t have to be thankful that your spouse mocks your faith or won’t attend church with you. But you can always find a way to thank God for who He is. Thank Him for empowering you in your struggles. A thankful heart will overcome days of discouragement better than a complaining heart.
10. Be a quiet witness.
Even if some [spouses] refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2 NLT
You may have been tempted to leave books open, speak Bible verses, or send religious texts to your spouse, in hopes he or she would wake up. That’s probably not the best approach toward someone who is closed to faith. Simply live out your godly life in front of your spouse, and let your actions speak for themselves.
11. Own your part of the conflict.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24 NLT
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably made the unequally yoked situation worse at times. My misplaced zeal, my withdrawal, and my hypersensitivity have complicated our marriage. I had to confess my sin and repent of my broken ways. I learned to accept my marriage for what it is and trust God to meet my needs instead.
12. Have hope for your children.
I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. 1 Timothy 1:5 NLT
If you have children, you must be the spiritual leader in your home even if your spouse refuses to participate. Timothy’s faith may or may not have been influenced by male role models, but it was passed down to him by two generations of females. Take your children to church, pray with them, and lead faith-based conversations. Be a positive role-model for faith, and have hope that they will learn to follow Christ from you.
Question: What verses have helped you in your unequally yoked marriage? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
Want more encouragement for your marriage? Here’s an idea for you:
Read the first post in my new series, How to be a Loving Wife in a Difficult Marriage.
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