Firstborn, 2004

2004 firstborn0002

Secret of the universe

I now know:

Joy unfolds daily

as my newborn repeats

his eat sleep wake

eat sleep wake

cycles, unfolding like a story

written by the hour.

My self-worship funeral pyre

burns bright with each midnight rise

each diaper rinse

each piercing cry.

Its fire melts me

into what I could not transform

myself:  mother.


Oh the dreams I collect for you

as I stroke your spun gold hair

and kiss your tender fresh skin.

Oh this love that crushes

and uplifts all together,

inside and out.


Your age measured in weeks

yet as you dream

thoughts flicker movie-like

across your tiny face:

fear, confusion, surprise,

disdain, even laughter.


I hunger for your firsts,

your smile most delicious.


My simple joy unfolds

as you swallow at my breast

as you clasp and unclasp

my finger with your fist

as your half-closed eyes

float to and fro, content.

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