A Letter to the 15-Year-Old Me, June 1993

1993 prom with harp0001
Let’s have a cup of tea and talk for a while.

I know you’re confused, embarrassed, and ashamed about what happened with this boy.
A relationship gone bad. That’s pretty common, to be honest with you. You’ll have a few more of those before you meet your prince.

I know sometimes you were afraid to answer the phone when he called. Sometimes you just didn’t want to deal with his attention. I understand you’re afraid to give yourself to someone, even just little parts of yourself through conversation. You didn’t want to let him in. That’s okay. I think you have good insight into who can be trusted and who can’t.

I want you to hear something loud and clear: You don’t owe a boy physical touch just because he takes you out on a date, buys you dinner, or gives you a corsage to wear with your dress. Or because you’ve dated for a certain amount of time.

Touch is what he wants; that’s what his motor runs on. But it is perfectly okay to give touch on your terms. Don’t let anyone pressure you into giving what you’re not ready to give. If he’s a prince, he’ll be willing to wait.

Believe it or not, you will get your wish of kissing someone only when you love each other. Sure, that’s a very idealistic hope. I’m proud of you for holding onto it so hard. You won’t regret it.

Please listen now, you dear, precious girl. You are beautiful, but you can’t see it. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I know many teenage girls struggle with feeling ugly and worthless, but it’s simply not true.

Let these words from Psalm 139 soak into your soul:

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

This psalm can bring you healing, dear one. Meditate on it when you’re feeling low. Someday you will see that your worth, your beauty, your purpose comes from God alone. He is your creator, your constant companion, your healer, your Savior. He loves you more more than anyone else ever could.

I love you, precious girl. I promise you: it will all turn out okay someday. May your faith sustain you.