“Everyone is too busy to miss me,” I told myself
on those late afternoons when I was home alone.
“No one cares, no one understands,
and no one truly loves the real me.”
I went to the cabinet, counted the bottles
of pain relievers, estimated
how many it would take
to put me to sleep forever.
I turned the bottles round and round,
heard the pills rattle inside
like a snake who warns you
when you step too close.
I laid in my bed yesterday
and contemplated the cleanness
of that kind of escape,
no blood, no mess, no detailing,
just a drift away into oblivion.
Suddenly I felt a still, warm presence
hovering above and within me
and a calm, firm voice spoke directly
to my spirit:
You don’t need to think like this anymore.
I listened and obeyed
and I felt God’s strong arms
lifting me out of the pit.
When I sat up
I felt stronger and lighter
as the weight lifted from my chest.
Now I see the sun peeking out
between the thick grey clouds.
I’m never going back
into that dark pit anymore.
Images and text copyright 2016 Sarah Geringer