My first memory, 1979

first memory 1979

Sixteen months old

standing on the couch, chin almost

touching the windowsill

looking out into the white, white world

for Daddy.

Mommy talking on the curly-corded phone:

Blizzard, two feet deep

first time in fifty years

Daddy walking five miles in the cold

to feed cattle at the farm.

She worries in hushed tones

to protect me, but

I think about him

lost and frozen

forever.

I stand on tiptoes

sinking into cushions

still trying to see him:

a speck far away

in the bleak whiteness.

For the first time

I am heartsick

and fearful.

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